I write this as practicing Christians worldwide complete their celebration of Easter, which marks the resurrection of Jesus Christ following his crucifixion. It is the most sacred time on the Christian calendar. And every year at this time, I see how mourning and rejoicing are mixed together in some divinely inspired elixir. This occurs not only in Christendom, where in one week the faithful experience both the Crucifixion and the Resurrection, but also in my own life where I must carry, as everyone must, loss with joy.
WHAT WAS
When I was a youngster, raised in the Roman Catholic tradition, Holy Week meant attending extra church services. This was balanced nicely with extra time out of school. But beyond that, I don’t recall feeling anything special at that time of year. I certainly did not feel it to be, as I was taught, a sacred time.
I have little memory of Good Fridays from back then. Easter was not so much a celebration of new life as a time to enjoy chocolate eggs filled with opera cream, my favorite.
As I grew into adulthood, I’ve matured in my understanding of Holy Week. But again, I gave more thought to Easter, which was a time together with family, than I ever did to Good Friday.
That changed in 1992.
A CHANGE IN PERSPECTIVE
Thirty-two years ago, my siblings and I buried my father on Good Friday. It happened to be my birthday as well. I recall thinking how grateful I was that this man I loved would now be released from the demons he battled, that he would finally be free to live a new life. This new life for Dad was only possible because of his death. Ever since then, this time of the year, marking a death and the possibilities beyond, has become sacred for me.
Yet we live in a society that generally seeks to skip the death part and go right to new life. We celebrate Easter, mostly with colored eggs, bunnies, and sales of new dresses. Good Friday is given little notice. And that is a shame. Because it is from the darkness, where all seems dead, that life first springs. As Christians believe, Jesus returned to life first in the darkened tomb before emerging triumphant. As any gardener knows, the seed of life first sprouts underground before pushing forth into the sunlight.
A FAMILY PARTY
I hosted the family Easter gathering this year. My property includes a section of woods down the hill from my house. The woods continue onto my neighbor Suellen’s property, where the trees eventually give way to a meadow where at this time of the year blooms a profusion of daffodils.
One of the first things my great nieces and nephews did when they arrived at my house was head over the hill into woods. An hour later, the youngest one returns with a bouquet of daffodils for her mother. Oh dear. Those aren’t my daffodils.
I quickly texted Suellen to say sorry. I knew it was okay for the kids to be in her meadow. I wasn’t sure about them picking her daffodils. She responded most graciously, saying it would thrill her late husband to see kids enjoying the meadow, and even picking daffodils. Then I remembered: to thrive daffodils need to be picked. This allows the plant to direct its nourishment into its bulb for next year’s array instead of sustaining a dying blossom.
Things must die so things may live.
MAKING SENSE OF EASTER
Is this the meaning to be found in Easter for those whose faith practices fall outside the Christian religion? As such an individual, I say yes –– but only if Good Friday is embraced as well.
One does not need to be a Christian to reflect on Good Friday, what it can mean, how we need it as much as Easter. Indeed, without Good Friday, Easter makes no sense.
Life always conquers death. That is the promise we see in the natural world each spring. That is the promise of the Resurrection of Jesus, no matter what one believes, or does not believe. Life always has the last word. And it always follows death. That is, death comes first so that life can spring forth.
As Richard Rohr writes: “We all want resurrection in some form. Jesus’ resurrection is a potent, focused, and compelling statement about what God is still and forever doing with the universe and with humanity. Science strongly confirms this statement using its own terms: metamorphosis, condensation, evaporation, seasonal changes, and the life cycles of everything from butterflies to stars. The natural world is constantly dying and being reborn in different forms. God appears to be resurrecting everything all the time and everywhere. It is not something to ‘believe in’ as much as it is something to observe and be taught by.”1
THE LAST WORD
When I am feeling overwhelmed, violated, or depressed, or when I struggle with my own shortcomings and mistakes, I find direction forward in the words of Parker Palmer. He writes of “… embracing brokenness as an integral part of life … (how) we (are to) use devastation as a seedbed for new life.”2 So, I strive to reframe my challenging experiences as a fertile ground, much as when I add organic matter to the heavy clay of my yard so flowers can bloom.
I certainly mourn the losses in my life. And now having fully entered elderhood, I know some dreams will never be realized. That holds a certain heartbreak. But then I look at what I do have in my life, mostly my cherished relationships, how they feed me, how they give me my very life. None of these would be mine if I hadn’t made mistakes or been hurt in past encounters. Without these, I would be walking a different path.
Would I give up the joys and triumphs of today, so many blessings, to have not suffered in the past? The answer is, most affirmatively, no.
And in that, I rejoice.
FOR REFLECTION: Think of your own life and your losses? Do you see any gifts born from what you could not have or is no more? What would you change if you could? Would you sacrifice what you have now for what you no longer do?
1 Richard Rohr, Daily Meditations, April 3, 2024. https://cac.org/daily-meditations/resurrection-and-incarnation/
2 Parker J. Palmer, A Hidden Wholeness: The Journey toward an Undivided Life (San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass, 2004), 5.
Top image: Pixabay/Bernd Scheurer
Midtext image: Pixabay/NickyPe
Side image: Pixabay/Avelino Calvar Martinez
